Thursday, September 25, 2008

Tonight's Mess

Tonight features a blessed confluence of several great dudes in one spot.

I get to see Golden Error play with Violent Bullshit. What did I do to deserve such an honor?

Plus it's hardcore night upstairs and Daniel Sheerin is DJing.

On another note, I am getting tired of the pink blog scheme. Any suggestions? I don't want to make it a too typically metal domain.

Best Day/Gawk Not

I can't believe I never told you about the time I was a member of the live studio audience.

A great many months ago I went with my friend Tiffany and two other ladies to a taping of the Montel Williams show. It was one of my favorite New York experiences ever. The only thing that could have topped it was had been gotten into the Syvia Brown episode that was being taped immediately after ours...DAMN! We arrived at the studio in the mid-afternoon and had to wait outside because the episode that was taping prior to ours - a surprise wedding (B-O-O-O-R-I-N-G!) - was running over. Everyone was buzzing as to what the show topic was going to be. We giggled and chatted amongst ourselves while some middle-aged ladies surrounding us eavesdropped and butted into our conversation. I'd make a comment or ask Tiffany a question and the fat Jersey chick behind me would respond, it was annoying the hell out of me, almost to the breaking point when finally, after much waiting they let us in, but only after a bus full of randoms who had just gotten out of a taping of the View were ushered in due to their apparent VIP status.

The waiting room was the pinnacle of 90s jazzy corporate vibes. It looked like something out of Boomerang the awesomely early 90s Eddie Murphy stinker (and apparently award winner, BMI's "Most Performed Song from a Film" holla!) but with awesome blown up photos of our hero everywhere. There was Pensive Montel, Sensitive Montel, Fun-Loving Montel, and Badass Montel amongst other. I stood back in admiration sighing as I stuffed my face with free pizza and Pepsi products.

They lined us up in order of the numbers we had been given when we entered the building and seating began. All the mysterious bus VIPS got seated first and then the rest of us lowly fans were shown to seats. My friends and I were picked out of the group and ushered to the second row most likely because we were the only non 40 year old ladies in the bunch, and also dressed like total maniacs. We were settling in when a PA approached our seats. She touched me lightly on the shoulder and asked somberly if she could take me aside and speak to me for a moment. What now? Preparing for rejection I hoped, unlike my friends, I wasn't too unsightly to sit in the second row.

She walked me down a cold hallway and looked me in the eye. "Listen," she whispered, "we want you in the front row." My eyes lit up with excitement. Front row status at Montel? What had I done to deserve this honor? "But," she continued, "the producers don't like bare shoulders in the front row. You can borrow my blazer if you'd like, I just had it dry-cleaned."

Fuck yeah! I was, of course, willing to put on this wretched rayon-cotton-poly blend blazer that was a size too small and jeopardize the awesomeness of my Mondrian block print dress. Fully ready to sell out! I almost felt bad because the lights in the studio were hot, my armpits were bare underneath her freshly dry-cleaned blazer and I'd forgotten to wear deodorant. Oh well. It's the bad blazer tax I guess.

She ushered me back into the studio where my friends met my eyes with bewildered looks, thanks to the incredible lameness of my bad business casual blazer and watched as the woman sat me in the far right seat of the row in front of them. Tiffany leaned forward and whispered, "What is that, Express?"

"Even better," I responded. "New York & Company."

The warm-up commenced and the cheerleader in charge started by giving a special welcome to the group from the Barbizon Modelling School. The pleasant young man I had been seated next to in the front cheered and patted the plainish yellow-haired girl next to him on the back. Oh boy. Instantly I had flashbacks of the classic ad in the back of Seventeen Magazine with the heavily made-up blond proclaiming, "Be a model or just look like one!" I had no idea the school still existed much less organized bus trips to sit in studio audiences across the city. I was baffled and amazed.

Soon Montel came out. It was kind of anti-climatic. He was sort of a jerk, very cocky, talked about himself in the 3rd person, and mainly had to answer questions from people who had come to the show because they had MS. He seemed impatient with them but at least made an attempt to be helpful. Essentially he told them they couldn't get the treatment he got because he was rich and could afford to travel to Europe and see the best doctors so tough luck. Okay, maybe he wasn't that harsh. I didn't realize what a figurehead Montel is in the MS community. His survivor status must be quite alluring. That bald black head shines as a beacon of hope.

One mother raised her hand and started talking about her daughter during the Q & A. How her daughter was a hero, how she was born without thumbs but had persevered and was now on the cheerleading squad. Montel cut her off, "Is this a story or are you actually going to ask me a question?" The woman, tears in her eyes, gestured to a wheelchair-bound girl next to her and said, "This is my daughter, she's in the Barbizon Modelling School. She's my hero." Montel softened a bit and told the thumbless girl she was beautiful while the Barbizon instructors smiled their whitened smiles.

The Q & A ended and Montel settled into his seat. From where I was seated I could partially see the teleprompter and it's scrolling text. From my vantage point I saw the names, Anna Nicole Smith, Larry Birkhead, Rita Cosby, and Diana McGreevey. Holy shit. This was going to be a doozy.

Let me take you back in time a little over a year ago to early September 2007. Rita Cosby, the now ridiculed former MSNBC correspondent, had just released the tell-all book, Blonde Ambition: The Untold Story Behind Anna Nicole Smith's Death accusing Larry Birkhead and Howard Stern of being gay lovers who had used Anna Nicole Smith for their own profit and blackmailed each other after her death amongst other claims about both her overdose and her son's overdose. The book was met with instant lawsuits from both Stern and Birkhead and this appearance on Montel was at the height of the frenzy surrounding the forthcoming book.

I couldn't believe my luck. Montel, in my mind, is usually the least juicy of talk shows. He's all about do-gooding and bringing people together. He makes me long for the trashy perfection of the old days of Jenny Jones. Where are the goth teen makeovers? Where are the stalking gay neighbors? Where is the self-castration? Come on! I don't watch tv to feel good, I watch it to plumb the depths. Reunions and surprise weddings and cancer patient makeovers, while good for humanity, are no good for entertaining me. But Rita Cosby! Anna Nicole Smith conspiracy theory! Fantastic.

I won't go into too many details of the taping. Unfortunately there is no video online, Montel rules his copyrights with an iron fist. Would anyone expect more from the most decorated peacetime Naval officer in US history? He's actually a pretty decent guy, terse personal manner aside. His online bios show a decent amount of charitability. Maybe I shouldn't harsh Montel. He's a survivor, he deserves a little vanity. Regardless here is all you need to know about the actual taping:

1. Rita Cosby complimented my necklace and kept chatting me up during breaks. She was a fucking nut.

2. Anna Nicole Smith's half-brother was a guest as well. He was so inarticulately small town Texan that he could barely communicate with the media coached madness. I felt sorry for him.

3. Partway through the taping the two Barbizoners seated next to me were removed from their seats to make room for a couple of guest commentators who weren't actually to be seated on stage.

4. Diana McGreevey was supposed to talk about her new book and struggle (on a related secret homosexual tangent I guess) but she almost got bumped by the Anna Nicole circus. She was on stage for about four minutes total and god was she bitter.

5. During a break in the taping the annoying Jersey woman who kept butting her way into our conversation while waiting in line suddenly stood up and shouted at Montel, "I can't believe I drove four hours for this crap!" She apparently had been counting on some face time with Sylvia Brown. Montel told her to leave then and made fun of her as she stormed out.

6. One of the commentators was a private investigator hired by Smith's family to get to the bottom of her death. He was actually interesting and informative.

7. The other commentator was Julia Allison. Uhh...okay, truth be told I don't read Gawker and at the time barely knew who she was. My only familiarity with that website was due to a few acquaintances being subject to it's ridicule and it's employment of Emily Gould, a former college roommate (and fellow Lang alumnus) of a friend who was notorious for being, well...mean (her subsequent humiliation on Jimmy Kimmel was both satisfying and difficult to watch, it made me never want to be asked by a professional about anything, those people are coached and trained, normal humans can't compete.) But in her platform Louboutin knock-offs and polka dots, it was obvious Allison was a shark in tart's clothing. I spent the rest of the taping sitting next to this tiny human listening to her rattle-off soundbites in semi-awe.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Jesus is totally bummed that I listen to extreme metal...

Going through the drafts on my blog I realized somehow this entry had been taken down. What a shame, this exchange was perfectly hilarious. Here is the repost.


Date: Jan 21, 2008 1:15 PM

Hello, I hope not to be a bother with this mesage. I am messaging to hope to offer insight that took me a while to gain, so please do not be offended. I am not emailing to be mean in any way, so if this email does not appeal to you or offends you, please do not email me back to insult me.

I do not belong to a Church (well I attend a church but I am in no way doing this on there behalf) this is my free will, I decided to tdo this after laying in bed watching the fresh prince of bel air.

I am not a lunatic, i am not someone trying to be mean to you, i was simply thinking of the predicament i used to be in, and was wishing someone would have sent this message to me 2 or so years ago.

I used to be very involved in the extreme metal scene, even as a Christian, but i was aware that the music and attitude involves has a veyr anti Christian messages, for alot of invalid reasons. And i trust you are an intelligent person and critical thinker, and that you would not want to form an opinion based apon false information. I found it alarming how many people, specifically metalheads are turnd off to Christianity, based upon lies about it that hte metal scene accepts as common knowledge, so the purpose of this email is for me as a Christian to make a fair counter argument, i of course welcome you to my walk with Christ, but first i would like you to hear my part of the story.

The crusades, and the murder of people in scandinavia and all over the world, in an attempt to convert those to Christianity DID indeed happen. but that is NOT supported by The Bible! God is grieved that those things happened! People would kill and take over lands for many reaons, ethicvs, religion, politics/political standpoints. That just means there have been corrupt people all throughout history, in fact, the kids at columbine would ask people if they beleived in God, if the person responded with yes, they would be shot. I do not think that means atheism causes evil and murder. I beleive in all the aforementioned things, people were using a scapegoat for their own agenda. And yes things like this did happen in the Old Testament, but that was talking about only specific cities, like when one city was sacrificing children, however amongst the metal scene only a part of the story is spread throughout the metal scene.

Also the idea that if God were real and all loving evil would not exist is tossed around. Well that is not a valid argument. What are some of hte worst acts someone can commit? taking someones life, rape, theft. These are all forcing things apon people, taking things, and destroying things against there will, a form of slavery in fact. Slavery, BONDAGES are the worst kind of evil. God is not going to enslave us, sinul acts are committed apon free will. God planted the tree of knowledge, I beleive to give us the fair knowledge of good and evil. If someone does something kind for you, or makes a sacrifice for you, or trusts you, what makes it loving is that they have the option to do something evil, however they consciously make the decision to do something kind. With no knowledge of hte bad decisions we can make, the good decisions we make would only come instictually, and have no actual value, they would not be deeds, they would be typical instincts. So you see, God was being fare to us. See, the trouble in the world is so often caused by us, by our horrible decisions, destryoing our environment, God gave us the option to do good will, and so many times we deny it.

The Bible is a well reserved and dependable source. It is the most in tact ancient document we have, cesars galick wars are not considered a myth, even though the most recent documents of it we have are 1000 years after it happened. We have The Dead Sea Scrolls that are thousands of years old for hte new testament, and documents, Church Records and peices of The New Testament dating from Christ's life and death, and even 20-50 years thereafter. In roman historical records, and in documentations by ancient historians, most popular being Josephus, we have primary source accounts of Jesus Christ,his miracles, and his works. and the first generation of the Christian Church.

In fact, many prophecys were written in the Old Testament about Jesus Christ, all of them fulfilled, and most of them were not in Jesus's control, so he could not have manipulated things to happen. The Old Testament sais to the Jewish People, that there Savior would come, to save them, and they would reject him. That as history contends, happened exactly that way. And that the second temple would be destroyed after his death, which happened in 70 A.D. (So according the Old Testament, completed hundreds of years before Jesus Christ's birth, Jesus Christ is The Messiah, The Son Of God, or there is none, because The Second Temple Can't fall again) Even the amount of money Judas betrayed him for, was Prophesied, all of this hundreds of years before the birth of Jesus Christ. And whether you are a Christian or not, the dates are factual from a secular standpoint even. And the destruction of the temple, was at the hands of hte romans, who did not know The Biblical texts, so no it is not a possiblity it was done to make Jesus Christ look better.

The old testament was written by over 40 different authors, thousands of years apart, often countries apart, writing about the same God, the same events, without possibly have being able to correspond with eachother. Thats some good validity if you ask me.

The Old Testament is filled with scientific forknowledge, it contains pages and pages on sanitation before we even had a word for "germ", it told of sertain things being dirty, and which fooods are and are not so good for hte body to eat, before scientists even knew how to test for such things. The Bible states more than once that the world is round, thousands of years before columbus sailed. One Book In The Bible mentions the geography of the ocean, that it has mountainous areas at the ocean floor, thousands of years before we could even explore more than an ungeared human can hold his breath. The Bible told us that the stars in the sky are un countable, before we had telescopes or anything, and with a reasonable amount of patience, one could count the 25 or 50 or so visible stars in the sky. The Bible told us that God is expanding the Heavens, only recently do we even theorize that the universe is expanding.

I do not beleive being rude to people, giving filthy looks, and being hateful is a tool of evangelism. I like to live my life as a living testimon of the glory of Jesus Christ, offer information when I know its necessary, discuss things intellectually, provide intelligent defenses and reasons for my faith, and be loving and caring like Jesus Christ. Unfortunately that is sometimes not the image people get from Christians, so I apologize if anybody been mean to you on our behalf.

I consider myself an intelligent guy, who is not naive. I have experienced miracle of my own, one of which being, i was suffering with a major personal very disturbing problem, for almost a year actually. I had not been open about, and one day at Church, I was praying with I beleive 3 other people, and I wanted to pray about my detailed complex problem, but you know, I was embaressed, even ashamed maybe. Then my friend Nick, who has his hand on me and is praying in tounges, starts praying MY PRAYER MY PROBLEM IN DETAIL for me! There is no way that is coincidence, considering hte ridiculous and deatailed nature of my disorder.

So historically, by experience, by faith, Christianity is at least a reasonable beleive system. I am messaging you to expose the lies tossed around, I am not trying to bother you, I am hoping that you will repent of your sins, and invite Jesus Christ into your life, and confess your sins to him, and tell him you know he is the Son Of God, and that he died on the cross as a sacrifice to save you from your sins. If my message has annoyed or not intrested you, I do not plan on messaging you again, however if you are interested, even still skeptical, but see this going somehwere in your life, maybe even accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord And Savior. Or maybe you are agnostic, and are thinking why Jesus Christ? Regardless if you have questions, need advice, you may reply to this message, even form a seperate myspace if you would like, you may talk to me on AIM, my screen name is WrestleOR 777 or you may email me at


if you are interesetd i reccomend you check out the following videos.

Take Care,
God Bless You And Always Be With You. now a dialogue ensues...

From: Beverly
Date: Jan 21, 2008 7:41 PM

My primary response is to question why you chose to approach me. I have nothing on my page expressing anti-Christian sentiments. I am a metalfan but that does not mean I take lyrics as life lessons. I also find it somewhat perplexing that you have an anonymous profile. Otherwise, thanks for copying and pasting your mass letter to me. It provided a point of interest in my day.

Date: Jan 21, 2008 10:45 PM

i know none of those things were on your page, and i hope i havent offended you and made you think i thought that about you. I had been searching through other pages, came across yours, and i figured, i could either send the message, and maybe you could get something out of it, or worse case scenario you disregard it or say something rude to me. So i figured why not?

From: Beverly
Date: Jan 21, 2008 7:56 PM

I guess that makes sense. Still though, what's up with the anonymous profile? It doesn't make sense to me if you are trying to reach out to people on a personal level? Just curious.

Date: Jan 21, 2008 11:05 PM

well, i was afraid of using my personal account, i didnt want to log on to talk to friends and have people harassing me, i've had a few people respond positively and i gave them my personal screen name. I was just using this as a filter sort of.

From: Beverly
Date: Jan 21, 2008 11:12 PM

I guess that makes sense but then again, why show such fear? Also you may want to spell check your message, it lessens the impact when it is rife with grammatical and spelling errors. Just some advice if you would like to be taken seriously. Regardless, best of luck. Most of us don't feel that we need saving.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Very Important

I usually listen when people tell me I'll dig a band. I especially listen when eight people unsolicitedly tell me I'll love a band. But it still took my several months to finally get my shit together to see Krallice. I've since listened to the album and while triumphant, it does not compare to the live assault. Seeing New York's two premiere guitar wizards play noodle-free black metal is little short of worship-worthy. Anyone familiar with Mick Barr and Colin Marston will expect nothing short of excellence, which Krallice generally encompasses.

I'm officially a fan and I must say, it's a great feeling to have a local band who, friendships aside, I am a bonafied geek regarding (although, disclaimer, Colin did master Battletorn's Evil Chains @ the Paincave back when I was in the band.)

Krallice is playing:
September, 27 2008 at Less Artists More Condos w/ Satanized
132 W 3rd Street btwn 6th Ave and metal in the West Village?


October, 8 2008 at Knitting Factory w/ Watain, Withered, Book of Black Earth
74 Leonard Street

Go see them if you haven't already...seriously...

Sunday, September 21, 2008

I'm a shirt lifter...not a skirt raiser...

After well over a year of speculation and many walks home spent planning I am proud to finally take a spot behind the turntables to accompany the illustrious Mr Jonathan Toubin conductor of the New York Night Train at Motorcity.

What does this mean?

Dance jams with a heavy heavy twist. SHAKE YOUR ASS AND BANG YOUR HEAD!

Motorcity this Wednesday...late to later...

Your attendence means the world to me.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Endless Staycation

So it happened. Like countless friends before me, I have joined the ranks of the unemployed. Initially I thought I'd get a lot more blogging action done, but presently I've spent my time sleeping and being bought meals by my friends and now am suffering from a moderate case of food poisoning. Swell. Still, joyously, I have only managed to spend $6 total over the past three days, that counts for something, right? Okay, my $2/day accomplishment involved someone buying me brunch, cooking me dinner, and feeding me pizza plus having a small (and dwindling) aresenal of groceries pre-job loss. And it doesn't count laundry but I seriously scrounged up all those quarters off my floor...change isn't real money, right?

I am extremely daunted by rejoining the workforce in yet another full time job that takes all my time and sucks all of my energy for the good of someone else's cause. I know, recession, blah blah blah, literally and figuratively, I can't really afford to be picky. Unemployement (which fingers crossed I qualify for) according to a friend, is one of the best writer's grants one can receive. Unfortunately, even if I do qualify I won't be able to receive it for long, as once someone has entered in a business contract (which I will be soon) they are not eligible for unemployment even if that contract isn't making them a dime (which it won't for at least another month.)

I've watched several unemployed friends of mine float along in an almost zenlike state after the first few crushing months. They learn to live on their meager budgets, eating less, drinking less, spending their hours in parks or at the gym. They adopt a monk-like...or perhaps more accurately Los Angelean existence (just without the frapps or the hybrids.) I personally have been gainfully employed continuously for about the past six years. I've never quit a job without having another one lined up. I've never been let go (until now.) Several times I've worked multiple jobs, the most notable being January where I was starting two new jobs and still working through my two weeks notice on the old one.

It has never been in doubt that I am a dedicated hard worker, but it's hard not to feel like a failure and it's even harder to reconcile those feelings. This is my first real firing so perhaps I'm just sensitive to it. My emotions are more frustrated and annoyed than geniunely upset at this point and like always, I am trying to spin it into an advantage. Perhaps hit the road again, perhaps use this time to work on a few short stories to submit to graduate writing programs, perhaps to build the blog, perhaps perhaps's only been a few days. And I've got rent for October.

But after that...who knows...unless someone wants to take me on tour. Designated driver, professional dude wrangler, and accomplished merch babe, who wouldn't want me to tour manage...

Monday, September 15, 2008

Om My God!

Om (ex-Sleep) will be playing a surprise show at Shangri La in Greenpoint (100 Sutton @ Nassau) on September 23. It's their only area show.

They are playing with Crackula. It's gonna be a ripper.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Fashion Weak (I make the same pun every year)

Instead of spying Nicole Richie at the C Ronson afterparty I went to go see Carcass last night. I've begun my biannual boycott of most things fashion week. I generally go to one party a year, I can't handle much more. The neighborhood I work in is overrun with fourteen-year-old gazelles scampering between castings. All of them in model-issue cut off miniskirts and last year's Ashlee Simpson accessories. It's hard not to harsh them, but then you remember, most of them are fucking TEENAGERS. Ugh.

Anyway, Carcass ruled. 2000 people packed in for the heavy at the incredibly square Nokia Theatre in Times Square. The space bums me out but even more so the location. Talk about the ultimate bring-down. You come, you thrash, you rage, you's Saturday night at 1515 Broadway, the heart of the madness. Nothing like seeing grind legends and stepping out to a seven story Target billboard and glowing advertisments for television shows you don't even want to know exist much less watch.

Still, at least during the show I was in a blessed bubble of brutality. I was handed a VIP sticker before Carcass and got to watch from the balcony which provided a stellar pit view (watching the pit at these shows is a close second to actually watching the band, it never gets old.) The show itself was exhausting. I arrived at 7:20 just before the first band, Rotten Sound went on. Carcass didn't go on until 11:45 and the show itself ended around 1:20, that's six hours later. That's about three hours too many. Why bookers feel the need to cram six bands on one bill I'll never understand. And why this is especially pervasive in metal baffles me further. Aborted was so terrible I had a physical reaction. Okay, maybe it was the al pastor burrito I ate earlier in Long Island, but I seriously thought I was gonna hurl during their entire set. I had to leave the main room and thankfully located some fellow castaways I knew near the concession booth. Yeah, concession booth. At the Nokia Theatre you can get sandwiches, M&M bars, and even Rice Krispie treats during the show (and yes, I purchased the latter.) But honestly, who the fuck put that band on the bill? Who even allowed them to record or tour with anyone, much less Carcass? was terrible. Suffocation would have been tolerable had the singer not been such a dickwad. Still, their 'roided out fanboys to stage right provided a decent amount of entertainment. But of course, there waws "that guy" who insisted on coming out on stage to take pictures of his buddies in the band mid-song with his cell phone. Really dude? Yeah, I paid $35 to see the band, not your dumb ass. Oy vey.

But bitching aside, Carcass was amazing and worth the wait. I'll post a few of the shitty pictures I took as soon as I find my connecting cable for my camera. It's still packed somewhere.

Quote of the night from Finland's Rotten Sound: "This song is about eating people. Remember when eating people to start with the feet because it hurts much more. Its called Feet First."


Thursday, September 4, 2008

Warning: Carbs Ahead

I work in Midtown. The lunch choices are numerous, most of them either deli's or small regional chains. You know the places, Pax, Cafe Metro, Guy and Gallard, and the more prestigious Pret A Manger. Despite the propensity for dry underseasoned grilled chicken sandwiches, these places all have something in common: they are all subject to Bloomberg's calorie posting rules.

Now I understand that America has an agenda regarding the nation's diet and that obesity can rightfully be considered a matter of public health but in New York City having the caloric content of everything you could possibly want to eat for lunch blasted in your face can be a major source of anxiety. Women in this city succumb far more easily to the pressure to be thin. Looks count for a lot here, especially in the circles I (perhaps unfortunately) run in, be it socially or professionally. It comes with the territory somewhat, I work in fashion. Even though my job is blessedly curve-friendly my peers at their jobs are less lucky and even though nothing is ever explicitly said, there is the underlying pressure to look like one walked off an editorial shoot every single day, from the outfit to the body.

So as I pass by the Pret A Manger on the corner of the street I work on I stop to read the window advertisment, "Good food is good, bad food is bad, eat drink and be wary." It's like a battlecry for disordered eating to me. After all, what is a bad food? Most women (and some men) I know have their own version. For me it's highly processed food, white bread, pasta, anything deep-fried, anything sugar-filled, the list could go on. Foods that are a part of the normal cannon of what should be acceptable to eat become "bad" foods. How many people do you know order their sushi with brown rice? The "burrito bowl" to avoid the tortilla? Boneless skinless chicken breast? I am totally guilty of it. When subjected to McDonalds for breakfast on tour it was always an Egg McMuffin, no cheese.

Not that food avoidance is all bad. Some of it is healthy. When eating prepared foods from restaurants and fast food joints you have to negotiate a treacherous field of potential health risks. But we become so wrapped up in our concepts of what we should or shouldn't eat that we forget to enjoy food. Which brings me back to the calorie posting. It's just step deeper into a culture of food paranoia. Diets are worn like a badge of honor, and dietary restrictions and hang-ups are piled high enough to fill a Whole Foods shopping cart. Yes, calorie-posting encourages consciousness to those who may eat mindlessly but it it is another nail in the coffin for those of us all ready in over our heads in a culture of food anxiety.

As you can probably tell, calorie posting has definitely made my shit list.