Press Alert!

Whoa...look at that, I'm almost noteworthy. The Bust Magazine article finally came out. To see it in miniature online form click the link and go to page 59 where it starts. Unfortunately I don't have scans featuring the other badass ladies as my mom scanned it for me and she only has eyes for her daughter. Sorry! Also, big thanks to Joanne at Dagger Debs for pointing the issue out to me. It was supposed to be in the October/November issue but the story got bumped. I didn't even know it had come out until Joanne posted a comment on my blog. Yeah, I'm really on top of my shit.

Here's my page. Thank god she didn't use the more embarassing quotes from my email rant. Also, unfortunately The Saints record is the most visible one and it's not even mine but my old roommate. The Rock Goddess/Sacrilege/Znowhite/Dark Angel display I had set up is totally in the shadows.


Angela Boatwright took the pictures and Jenny Rose Ryan wrote the article. I posted the entirety of my nerdy-ass interview on the blog way back in May when the ball first started rolling.

I think it would be hilarious to start a press section of my blog. After all, I've got that sweet spread in Vice featuring me modeling thrash mascot tees from the neck down (wow, Tim Barber and Brendan, thanks guys for not wanting to take any pics of my face, makes me feel like a megababe.) And then there is the classic Battletorn feature in Vice Germany where at least my face is pictured but unfortunately I have a huge cast on my arm. Battletorn indeed.


Thrash metal mascot aka just rack shots. There is also one of my in a DRI shirt and one in a Megadeth shirt too. Photo by Tim Barber.


The article is hilarious, but unfortunately in German. Check out the Battletorn tidbits anyway!

I just noticed that these three articles are titled, For Those About to Rock, Mosh or Die, and Thrash 'til Death. Pretty ripping.

Half-blind homeland

Less than one hour in Nebraska and I've already lost a contact. In my weaker eye nonetheless. Driving's gonna be a blast.

I haven't been home for some time. It's been almost a year since I've seen my parents. Little seems to have changed in the good ole hometown aside from a bumper crop of condos sprouted up all around. That and I don't recall the word "loft" being relevant in Lincoln 5 years ago. Then again I'm not around much.

I am learning to live with separated parents. It makes the holidays slightly awkward. I am new at this, so all you old pros with long-divorced folks bear with me. I try to avoid getting to personal on this blog, but it's the most present thing on my mind aside from the lost contact and I am sure you don't want me to go on bitching about that. But more than my family, my hometown is on my mind.

After being gone a certain number of years one is forced to realize that life goes on without them. And life in my hometown is no different. People get together, people break up, people have kids, get jobs, move away, get married, it all goes on and has nothing to do with you. You are just a part of the town's memory, and not a present memory at that. Your childhood haunts get torn down or revamped, places get renamed, and the food doesn't taste the same. It is hard not to feel sad because even if things have changed for the better, you are no longer a part of the story. Your body is not in the motion of the town and you are at odds with it's ebbs and flows.

Restructuring memory isn't an option, but when the tangible structures change it's hard to know what to go on. To trust in your memories of things when confronted with a new reality, be it the inevitable reality of adulthood where your contemporary eyes show things in a different light than your child's, or the more concrete reality of change. The things you looked at for the first eighteen years of your life are gone or different. It's not your perspective that has changed but the world itself.

Maybe I've just lost focus since my eyesight is down to one eye.

Chinese Democracy Remix

Another note about Chinese Democracy. DO NOT listen to this album on mushrooms. It will BUM YOU OUT!

Seriously, there was a point where I got so embarassed for Axl that I pulled my turtleneck over my face and tried to hide. It was during his ballad. It honestly made me that uncomfortable.

To be fair I also thought I was Mr. Peanut:
, so maybe my word isn't the definitive one.
God...I think that's the least flattering photo of myself I've ever posted. But yeah, that was an interesting turn in the evening.

This is me before unadvisably mounting my bike and riding off into the freezing cold world.

Chinese Democracy

And...as my roommate Sam put it, "This is like the toughest Britney Spears album ever." I think Axl managed to put every genre of music on the record. Let's put this head to head with the new Metallica album.

Another Sam quote, "This part sounds like Iceburn." YESSSS!

But I am so gonna get my free Dr Pepper coupon even though I can't have caffiene or carbination. I still feel like I should participate in any food-related publicity stunt.

All in a day's work

Another day at Brendan's. We worked really hard as both of our blogs will attest. If I spend too much time over at his place there is going to be some serious cross-blogination.

First we had a fashion shoot. He had me take picture of his new t-shirt:


And then he took pictures of my awesome sweatshirt.

Note the lil' deadhead on the right. I totally remember reading this book which makes this shirt extra ruling.


Lauren bought this for me when it came into Beacons thinking it was a metal band's tour sweatshirt. Not quite but still amazing.

We then posed with the new ET/Rasta Skeleton hybrid

Bros 4 Lyfe


I was so busy staring passionately into my new BF's eyes I didn't notice the dreads on top of my head...oops.


Tru Luv


Then bossman fell asleep, Blackberry on his chest. Poor lil' guy, all tuckered out from grocery shopping and listening to Howard Stern. I kid, this motherfucker works dang hard.

Oh and I also made linesheets and order forms. God bless Excel.

Unfamiliar Celeb Guest DJ Set!!! Wooh!

So I am DJing with Sergio Vega from Quicksand tomorrow night at the Charleston. That's cool except I've never met the dude and know little about his band except Walter Schreifels used to be a regular customer at Beacon's Closet in Park Slope and would come in and talk us all the time. Once he tried to sell in his old Halloween costume - Barf from Spaceballs.

It should be fun. I just hope he doesn't expect me to be professional.

You make me so very happy

I am in love, especially with the Metallica one. They really put a lot of effort into making this awkward masterpiece. Of all the "shreds" series, these two are by far my favorites

See you in hell my friend

Spent the day helping Brendan out at his house/studio. I got there too early and Donnelly wasn't ready for me yet so I started the day out with an hour and a half long nap then helped myself to two bowls of Cocoa Puffs then listened to Howard Stern and scanned stuff for hours. After that was done I googled every children's boutique I could find and compiled a mega buyer database. Throughout this I learned an awful lot about Scott Weiland and found out that Christopher Lloyd's house burned down. And I ate a third bowl of Cocoa Puffs. When Brendan returned I took another nap while he took over the computer to get his internet fix. Then I capped off my day with some tie-dye supervision and gossiping.

But seriously, I worked really hard and accomplished a lot. Really...I swear!

Fuck...Brendan's totally gonna read this.

Oh yeah AND he gave me a pre-birthday present a few weeks ago which I am just now getting around to showing off to you.



I wish I had a catalogue of all the embarassing and inappropriate (at least inappropriate for a white guy from Connecticut) gifts I've given him over the years. I think I'm just aiming for him to get his ass kicked.

For those of you who don't know (aka Brendan!) this is the song the tshirt is referencing. A true classic:

The water's still and the water's sweet

"She looks great, you look like an asshole." - Jake to Chuck after taking this picture.

So after a weekend of preparation it finally happened. I am now 27. It doesn't hurt so bad. I thought it would feel worse actually. It was a fairly successful birthday all in all. I mean nothing earth-shattering happened. I had a great dinner with great company. I ate mussels for the first time and got some special presents. Really the only thing lacking was that I didn't get laid, but seriously, who even wants to get laid after eating a pork tenderloin wrapped in proscuitto served over green apple mashed potatoes? That topped off with the most ridiculous flourless chocolate cake in hot fudge sauce with hazelnut ice cream? Forget it. The fact that I even made it over to Union Pool with the intention of raising hell was a miracle. No hell was raised, but a lot of sitting was accomplished.


Brendan came and was a grumpy old man as per usual


Jaymie and Jake also grubbed. Put down the Blackberry girl...seriously!


Chuck looked like a weirdo in all his pics but he gave me a righteous Cast burnout tee and there's a Plastic People one on the way.


Leah brought her best game face


And her second best..."Oh you're half Jewish, half Italian? No wonder you're so loud." Said by me with nothing but the utmost love and admiration...seriously.


Glen made me a card out of a paper airplane.


Sam did her best muppet impression


Lauren looked menacing


Then everyone but Marissa put on their black leather jackets and went to Union Pool


Jaymie and Chuck are apparently the only ones amused at this point


And what night isn't complete without Brian showing up and making a shitty face?

Thank you to everyone for coming and celebrating with me this entire weekend. Now it's back to normal life. I get to feel way less special.

Also, it must be noted that two different stories were told that innocently ended in bukkake references. One involved blogging and the other involved Heidi Klum. Such vibrant dinner conversation.

It's my party and I'll blog if I want to

How do you illustrate how rough a Saturday night can be?

Today is my 27th birthday, I keep getting older, what the fuck's up with that? I guess I can't complain about the irreversible. At least I am now finally hopefully semi-employed. Not starting this year off as a total loser. At least not yet. For the first time ever I've been a total brat and pulled the whole "birthday weekend" bullshit out of my ass. Saturday was the house party, yesterday I totally scored dinner during my awesome hangout day where me and a friend drove all around Brooklyn getting lost, finding a giant teepee in Red Hook, touring some bizarre ethnic neighborhoods, and ended up at Brighton Beach where he pissed in the ocean before we got Mexican food at Castros in Bed Stuy. I find it awesomely irresponsible to go cruising these days. It's the most economically and socially unsound activity. Nothing feels better than wasting gas for idle enjoyment, but when you don't drink it is a pretty awesome way to blow some cash over the course of several hours.

Tonight I'm making some folks take me out to dinner. I'll probably watch them get drunk somewhere later. Who knows where.

But Saturday...oy vey. Saturday was like a social experiment gone equally wrong and right. From gnarly late night spin-the-bottle to an inpromptu drum session perpetrated by anti-hippies to a slow-dance to Toto's Africa where I got choked on the dancefloor it was weird creepy fun. Also thanks to Lilly's present of a giant dog-faced ceramic cobra, there was a pretty killer prop involved in the night as well.

Here's proof. In the words of Paul K, "Let's get creepy."


Kp got gnarly


Chris joined a drum circle


Heather has a great ass


Glen and Angela got dirty


Chris got retarded


Angela and Dustin made the same face


Saturday also featured some of the best "shitfaces" I've ever seen at a party. I swear to god, despite the facial expressions, everyone really did have fun...I promise.











There was another theme (and this picture segues beautifully between the two) aside from shitfaces which was tard faces. Yes, something was in the air because everyone was deliberately trying to look retarded, which, in my perspective is way better than trying to look hot.








This was moments after Angela and Zoe actually said, "Let's try to look like retards."




Glen made me a card...it ruled

Otherwise it was your typical party. A bunch of goodlooking folk looking good while getting drunk.




Cupcakes and Cheesecake!


Neon told me he came to "show face"


I like Marissa lurking in the background




Going through these I noticed how many times people flipped off the camera...seriously, you guys gotta get a new routine...except for Brian. I hope he always makes that face now til the end of time.


Seriously, I can't get enough of it.


Sybs...lovely lady I don't see nearly enough of.


Jenny!


Imagine if this was the last thing you saw


Who's drunk?


What's going on down there Glen?


I have no idea why or when the tambo was broken out but everyone went nuts with it.


Last picture of the night...