Full Bust

Angela Boatwright posted the entire set of Bust metal girls on her blog. I'm stealing her entire post...aren't I enterprising?

Cross dressing is not a crime

This post on Dlisted about the cross-dressing Harry Winston robbers in Paris made me think back on the shoplifter profiling we did back at Barneys. Seriously, without fail, our biggest thieves were always trannies. They were definitely the most easy to spot. These delicate amazons in their size 12 pumps would always try to squeeze in the smallest dresses possible. Proving that no lady, penis or not, wants to admit she's a size large. Some of the tranny thieves were quiet and shady, roaming floor to floor with a male accomplice, pretending they were trophy girlfriends. Others would make a lot of noise, trying on item after item in the dressing room asking for multiple sizes trying to confuse the sales girls. They always wanted to be helped by women, the retail gays were always the first ones to catch on. They knew about their trifling ways.

When I first started working at The Good The Bad and The Ugly, the manager Sarah told me about the trannies that would steal from the store. We couldn't hang silk dresses on the fixture closest to the door because they'd lost so many dresses in the past to trannies popping in and snatching them hanger and all and then making a break for it.

...whoa

Okay so halfway through this post I walked out into my living room and found 6 people sitting around a bong.

Now all I can fixate on is this from my recent trip home:



I'll do a full Omaha mall report when I'm no longer stoned.

As far as the thieving trannies...they'll just have to wait.

Once again...

Press Alert!

Whoa...look at that, I'm almost noteworthy. The Bust Magazine article finally came out. To see it in miniature online form click the link and go to page 59 where it starts. Unfortunately I don't have scans featuring the other badass ladies as my mom scanned it for me and she only has eyes for her daughter. Sorry! Also, big thanks to Joanne at Dagger Debs for pointing the issue out to me. It was supposed to be in the October/November issue but the story got bumped. I didn't even know it had come out until Joanne posted a comment on my blog. Yeah, I'm really on top of my shit.

Here's my page. Thank god she didn't use the more embarassing quotes from my email rant. Also, unfortunately The Saints record is the most visible one and it's not even mine but my old roommate. The Rock Goddess/Sacrilege/Znowhite/Dark Angel display I had set up is totally in the shadows.


Angela Boatwright took the pictures and Jenny Rose Ryan wrote the article. I posted the entirety of my nerdy-ass interview on the blog way back in May when the ball first started rolling.

I think it would be hilarious to start a press section of my blog. After all, I've got that sweet spread in Vice featuring me modeling thrash mascot tees from the neck down (wow, Tim Barber and Brendan, thanks guys for not wanting to take any pics of my face, makes me feel like a megababe.) And then there is the classic Battletorn feature in Vice Germany where at least my face is pictured but unfortunately I have a huge cast on my arm. Battletorn indeed.


Thrash metal mascot aka just rack shots. There is also one of my in a DRI shirt and one in a Megadeth shirt too. Photo by Tim Barber.


The article is hilarious, but unfortunately in German. Check out the Battletorn tidbits anyway!

I just noticed that these three articles are titled, For Those About to Rock, Mosh or Die, and Thrash 'til Death. Pretty ripping.

Half-blind homeland

Less than one hour in Nebraska and I've already lost a contact. In my weaker eye nonetheless. Driving's gonna be a blast.

I haven't been home for some time. It's been almost a year since I've seen my parents. Little seems to have changed in the good ole hometown aside from a bumper crop of condos sprouted up all around. That and I don't recall the word "loft" being relevant in Lincoln 5 years ago. Then again I'm not around much.

I am learning to live with separated parents. It makes the holidays slightly awkward. I am new at this, so all you old pros with long-divorced folks bear with me. I try to avoid getting to personal on this blog, but it's the most present thing on my mind aside from the lost contact and I am sure you don't want me to go on bitching about that. But more than my family, my hometown is on my mind.

After being gone a certain number of years one is forced to realize that life goes on without them. And life in my hometown is no different. People get together, people break up, people have kids, get jobs, move away, get married, it all goes on and has nothing to do with you. You are just a part of the town's memory, and not a present memory at that. Your childhood haunts get torn down or revamped, places get renamed, and the food doesn't taste the same. It is hard not to feel sad because even if things have changed for the better, you are no longer a part of the story. Your body is not in the motion of the town and you are at odds with it's ebbs and flows.

Restructuring memory isn't an option, but when the tangible structures change it's hard to know what to go on. To trust in your memories of things when confronted with a new reality, be it the inevitable reality of adulthood where your contemporary eyes show things in a different light than your child's, or the more concrete reality of change. The things you looked at for the first eighteen years of your life are gone or different. It's not your perspective that has changed but the world itself.

Maybe I've just lost focus since my eyesight is down to one eye.

Chinese Democracy Remix

Another note about Chinese Democracy. DO NOT listen to this album on mushrooms. It will BUM YOU OUT!

Seriously, there was a point where I got so embarassed for Axl that I pulled my turtleneck over my face and tried to hide. It was during his ballad. It honestly made me that uncomfortable.

To be fair I also thought I was Mr. Peanut:
, so maybe my word isn't the definitive one.
God...I think that's the least flattering photo of myself I've ever posted. But yeah, that was an interesting turn in the evening.

This is me before unadvisably mounting my bike and riding off into the freezing cold world.

Chinese Democracy

And...as my roommate Sam put it, "This is like the toughest Britney Spears album ever." I think Axl managed to put every genre of music on the record. Let's put this head to head with the new Metallica album.

Another Sam quote, "This part sounds like Iceburn." YESSSS!

But I am so gonna get my free Dr Pepper coupon even though I can't have caffiene or carbination. I still feel like I should participate in any food-related publicity stunt.