Closet Rocks

aka another "Fuck you, buy me" post regarding Ebay.

I've got another post up on the Vice blog:
entitled Closet Rocks

It's what is most likely going to be the first of several Ebay posts. Essentially I am sick of blogs like Refinery29 posting Ebay scores that aren't deals and frankly are kind of lame in the realm of what I'd call I "score."

If you've spent about five minutes reading this blog you'd understand that there has been one underlying theme in my life for the past year and a half. I'm broke. In fact I don't technically have any expendable income that I should be spending on clothes, but guess what? I am a partner in a clothing store. I have worked in retail since I was fifteen. I'm around clothing all the time and it makes me want more. Plus almost everything I own I've put into my business and the rest of it is covered in holes and stains.

So, that makes it perfectly okay to troll Ebay for goods like this Black Sabbath promo necklace I've got coming in the mail, right?

And this Slayer number that arrived today:


Okay, okay, so this is just another case of Justification 101, but the post is primarily in the vein of an earlier one I did over here on Reality No-Show that got quite a few responses via the comments and in the real world amongst my friends who, like me, are dorky enough to talk about our blogs off the internet (I know, right?)

On the subject of epiphanies

So my long lost (as in I haven't seen her since she rode through Nebraska with Kevin) buddy Elizabeth aka White Lightning posted an admission that she had a boner for Chad from Million Dollar Listing and I have to admit that as far as gross tv fantasies that's just beyond me.

However, in the sake of fairness (and since this blog used to deal with my obsession with bad reality tv pretty regularly) I will use her valour as a jump-off and just say that I had a much much much more embarassing tv-related incident than even a gross crush. Wanna know it? Here goes:

I had a romantic dream about one of the guys from the most current season of Tool Academy.

Yes, that's right. It wasn't an icky sticky sex dream mind you, but a we're dating and the world's against us scenario. Which tool was it you may wonder?


Big John aka Giant Tool

I know...I know...when I told Sean he said, "Well, at least he's from around Boston." Thanks for being understanding baby. I have to admit I was sad when that dude went home. The show was lacking when I no longer got to see his muscle tanks.


Oy vey.

The thing is, I didn't have a crush on the guy. I was just rooting for him and somehow that translated into a dream. Last night I had a dream I was tagging along with an acquaintence who was personal shopping with Little Wayne. He was super bummed because she kept insisting he try on girls clothes so I helped him sneak a bunch of skirts and dresses she'd pulled out of his dressing room when she wasn't looking. Yeah, who knows.

Convent Party

So I told the Vice readership all about the fun and crazy performance I was in last weekend at the St. Cecilia convent in Greenpoint. The performance at the convent was a great success and a total blast. Things got a little sloppy at the second performance at the Legion but everyone had a blast and if nothing else we confused the hell out of a lot of people.

I didn't get any pics of the actual performance because, well, I was in it, but the preparations were a blast. Pre-show shotguns in the convent basement:





Make-up time:





Costume cross-over:



Smoking in the convent basement is for sinners:




The happiest of ghosts:



AND...the post show!!!





Celebratory shotguns...

A Question

Who advertises their nanny services atop a gravestone?

Well apparently someone on Graham Avenue does because this sign in the the window of the monument shop near Metropolitain. The grave makers also sell fresh bakery goods. For some reason buying bread from a gravestone purveyor seems unseemly, but maybe that's just me.

If you've got nothing to do

then come to this!

If you've got something to do, ditch your plans and come anyway!!!

Exquisite Nun Corpse aka Say Yes to Life

Two more things

Ryan Turner's Outcast collection dropped @ Urban Outfitters.

I blogged about it for Vice You Don't Have to Slam Junk to Wear Leather

I'm sick. And Europa is having an inspection so the downstairs will be closed so I won't be DJing the Saint Vitus show tonight, but of course I'm still dragging my half dead ass there. Can't be missed!

Check out my write-up at Vice as well (yes, yes I know, I need some original Reality No Show content soon.)

Saint Vitus History Lesson



I heart Wino!!!!

Serious bangage

A few things of note happening this upcoming weekend:
1. Saint Vitus @ Europa. I am DJing downstairs but my Ipod will take over during Saint Vitus's set for obvious reasons. If you come buy all your beers at Europa's downstairs bar so I can make tons of money for going to see a band I love (seriously, DJing shows is the best gig ever. Vice once paid Omid and me $150 to play songs between EYEHATEGOD songs at the Pussycat Lounge. Umm...yeah, good deal all around.

2. I'm helming the Fox and Fawn table at this event:

Brooklyn buds come visit me and grab some serious garb post-brunch this Sunday! This is hopefully the first of many of these pop-up flea markets. We've got some serious goods from the shop plus Cheek-ie necklaces and bracelets and belts galore.

3. Sean gets back from tour on Saturday. Possible Cult of Youth house show that night, I'll keep you posted as to the details as they emerge. Yay!