Bus-ted

Gee New York, thanks a lot.

Riding the B43 today I witnessed a mother changing her daughter's diaper while feeding her chicken McNuggets. Who the fuck changes a kid's diaper ON THE BUS? And who feeds their child while wiping it's ass? When she was done the mom transferred the child to the father and dashed out the back door to toss the diaper at the next stop. At least she had the courtesy to do that, although it was probably out of personal convenience than respect for others.

So fucking gnarly.

I'll update my own blog I swear!

So I managed to pump out another Vice post before I updated this. But trust me, so much tour business coming soon. Plus Throbbing Gristle!!!

New York - Florida Fashion

New post up on Vice!

North Carolina - Secret Hall of Fame

Love as Laughter played at one of the most amazing historic punk venues no one seems to have heard of. Before CBGBs there was The Milestone but of course no one cares because it's in Charlotte, NC. Check out the post, it's something I really wanted to share with the universe.

Spring Broke

Ahh, back in New York, just in time for the season of beer bongs and hula hooping. The older my friends get, the greater their enthusiasm for beer bongs seems to increase. Beer bongs and spring break. Maybe it's because those of us who did go to college never were the types to spend a weekend in Ybor City or South Padre Island. Cabo Wabo wasn't part of our scholastic venernacular. But the last thing I want to do was revist spring break after being stuck in Tampa on a Friday night during the actual time period known as spring break. It was halfway through the Love as Laughter tour, right before things started to go wrong. The boys were playing at a venue called New World. I was restless after spending the whole day in the van so I asked the promoter which direction was the best to wander. He pointed me around the corner and up the street. Little did I know that I was being directed into the heart of darkness known as Ybor City.

It was a typical party strip, filled with nightclubs and tshirt stores. Head shops next to cigar stores (this was Florida after all) and a token Coyote Ugly. All around me were girls in crop tops and mini skirts with brightly colored legwarmers or wrist bands advertising their school colors. Accompianying them were the class cargo shorts and sandal wearing meatheads. Everyone looked like a case of alcohol poisoning waiting to happen. The locals were dressed in slightly less garish but still horrifyingly miniature ensembles. Walking the strip in black jeans and a tshirt, I got a lot of attention. I guess I stood out. In addition to all the other riff raff, there was a gigantic outdoor mall. After walking around for 30 minutes I felt throughly traumatized and went to take a nap in the van. Desperately I started texting all the friends I knew were from Florida asking them if they had any leads on places to crash for the night. Trying to find a cheap hotel room during spring break is pretty difficult. In fact trying to find an open room cheap or otherwise is basically impossible. Everyone who wrote me back said stay out of Ybor City. I had to laugh as I looked up at a sign visible from the venue parking lot informing me that's exactly where I was.

I was wary upon coming back to Brooklyn when I was greeted with Glen's enthusiastic phone call about a spring break party he was throwing at LuLu's. My urge to stay a shut in for a good week post tour was overcome by my compulsion to be a good friend and I went despite my reservations about the whole spring break concept. It ruled. You know I love to photograph a beer bong. And what's more, I now love me some serious hula-hoop pics. Let's hope that theme stays with us for the summer. Anyone want to make a Target trip and buy some?

Without further adieu, I present to you, Spring Break: Brooklyn Style


DJ Naan Stop aka O.B.G.Y.Glen


The Budweiser shorts make the ladies go straight for the crotch.


"Brad Parsons stole my money"


They made their shirts right before the party.


Audrey was seriously dressed for the occasion


Sean was not (lookin good babe!)


Berkowhatz?


Group shot (featuring the abadoned boyfriends in the background)


The face of mediocre pizza when you've got beer vs the face of mediocre pizza when you don't


The return of the flabongo


Good form!


Hula hoopin head bangin


To everyone's credit, hula hooping is way hard when said hoop has no weight in it.


Still, Annie was a star, in fact I think it was she who got everyone going with the hula hoop in the first place.


I never found out if this was a retro spring break themed outfit (Daytona?) or if this is an everyday look.


Either way it was awesome, silver jangles, bedazzling, all goes so well when paired with a hula hoop.


Dudes just don't look nearly as good, no matter how hard they try.


Beer bong time...unfortunately (or germ/dignitywise maybe fortunately) for me Tommy Gunz left no abandoned unopened non-alcoholic brews sitting around like last time.


Fletcher looks like an add for How to Get Babes 101...the Corona beer poncho.


Here I am having what is apparently the best time ever! Now that's what I call a hula hooping outfit. Thanks Leah.


Coke-a-haunt-us or at least that's what I nicknamed Leah when she had her braids in earlier in the night. Bummer she took them out, she had a good native look going. Even without them, still good look going.


A dude in Budweiser shorts talking a reluctant looking girl into a beer bong. Now that's classic spring break date rape about to happen.


Except that it's Glen and Marsha Brady and they are totally bros and she's smart enough not to trust him. What a pre-bong look of mass suspicion!


Sorry he parties...the parting shot of the night.

Full effectiveish

Okay. Fuck. I'm back from tour and have no idea where to begin. I guess saying that I'm back is enough of a start. It was my first time spending any serious time in the south. Aside from my solo vacation to the Hostel in the Forest/Cumberland Island the December before last and a childhood family trip to North Carolina's Outer Banks, I hadn't been to the offical "South" before. The tour began and ended in North Carolina. We learned some lessons, maybe spring break isn't the best time to tour, especially in Florida. Then again, I experienced the singular horror of Ybor City/Tampa on a Friday night during the height of spring break season. Ever been to Tampa? Everyone looks like either Pete Wentz or Travis Barker. They take their architectural hair seriously down there. If it is still the home of death metal, the death metal was in hiding. Understandably so.

I have hundreds of pictures and nearly as many stories. From Charlotte strip clubs to Tampa General Hospital to getting robbed twice in one day (and puking twice in the same day) in Orlando. There were ups and downs like any tour but overall it was fun. We had the essentials: rad folks, great tunes, and more food than I care to even think about. We hit up every roadside essential except for Sheetz and Krystal. I got food poisoning from a turkey sandwich at 7/11 while everyone else digested their tacquitos just fine. Live and learn, go with the tried and true on the road. Sometimes trying to eat healthy will fuck up your stomach ten times worse than the deep-fried standards. I got my beloved Cheese 'N Eggs with raisin toast at Waffle House (smothered, chunked, and peppered) and spread apple butter on my Cracker Barrel biscuits. Despite my attempts at ordering the grilled chicken sandwich at all the fast food joints I was foiled by my milkshake obsession (Hardees has a fine one, so does Chick-Fil-A.)

The weather wasn't as warm as I'd hoped and I didn't get to spend too much time by the water. However we had a beautiful river-view in Wilmington where Sean and I got a hotel room to celebrate our anniversary (4 months...we're that kind of couple...I know) and we had some lazy beach time in St. Augustine. And I guess we relaxed poolside at the Sea World Hilton (cheapest hotel in Orlando, $42/night for four) but our relaxation was cut short when we found out we'd been robbed of all our luggage/clothing while we were sunning ourselves. But more on that story later, I'm trying to talk about how awesome everything was first before we go into the inevitable disasters that every tour seems to have. In fact my friend Glen said that "no tour is complete without someone going to the emergency room." I never did on the Battletorn tour but I also broke out in hives so badly that I thought I was going to have to. At least none of the damage was permanent and everyone walked away fine, albeit a little bit broker and with a lighter luggage load.

So I'm back, but only sort of. I've been avoiding dealing with my bedroom and both of my pillows and blanket went on tour with me so I don't want to sleep in my bed until I have a chance to do laundry. Plus Sean bought Mario Kart for his Wii, so I've been keeping busy playing video games, listening to all the rad records we bought, and plotting to practice my flute so I can accompany Sean while he toys around with the autoharp he bought in a pawn shop on our way out of Asheville.

Much much more to come in this upcoming week. And I'll be responding to comments/keeping up correspondence with all of you once this weekend is over and I'm back in the swing of life. Although the weather is getting nice finally, it's going to be hard to keep focused. Finally, weather worth being unemployed during! I've been waiting since September for this.

Programming Note

Going on tour with Love as Laughter until 4/21.

Seeing as how I have a crappy phone with no internet and no laptop I don't think I'll be updating this much, if at all. Although knowing me, I'll find a way.

Hit me up if you live in any of these towns!

TUES 07 APR
Greensboro, NC - Square One

WED 08 APR
Athens, GA - Tasty World

THURS 09 APR
Jacksonville, FL - Cafe Eleven

FRI 10 APR
Tampa, FL - New World

SUN 12 APR
Orlando, FL

TUES 14 APR
Tallahassee, FL - The Engine Room

WED 15 APR
Birmingham, AL - The Bottletree

THURS 16 APR
Asheville, NC - The Emerald Lounge

FRI 17 APR
Chattanooga, TN

SAT 18 APR
Charlotte, NC - Milestone

SUN 19 APR
Wilmington, NC - The Soapbox Laundro Lounge

Like a budget Selby

Ahh, it's time for another welcome to my domain post. I moved in September to L train territory. I live with five roommates, three of them dudes, one of them in transition (not from female to male necessarily, but we have a subletter for a month then who knows.) Being the typically messy brat that I am it took a while to get settled, but I finally got around to taking some pictures. Here it is, my room, Meserole style:


Best thing about my apartment? It came with it's very own Gremlin! I promise I won't become one of those bloggers who posts too much about her cat, but come on!


Sea of Shoes, eat your heart out (actually, hello, wanna trade?)


Hello, meet my friends Ann D, Dries, Marni, and Marc.


Art star second hand blanket score. Funny story, Jake recognized this blanket when he crashed at my old house years ago. "I used to sleep underneath a blanket just like this at a friend's house." Well I got it at Beacon's Closet from Dan Colen's aunt Janice just thinking it was one of her old things. Turns out it used to be Ryan McGinleys. Jake called him while lying in my bed to tell him but he didn't answer the phone. If I ever meet Ryan I guess I'll have to be totally creepy and tell him about it.


Oh god, why did I take a picture while watching Hell's Kitchen on my computer? I'm such a fucking loser. But, also pictured, my Motley Crue tour jacket (official Roadie), My righteous tapestry, my hat collection (all three, Black Sabbath, Motley Crue, and Kreator which isn't even mine), and my stained glass unicorn. Also that's a flute on top of my bookshelf.


Asian baby, Iron Maiden, Raccoon skull, Motley Crue, Led Zeppelin mirror, Styx coke mirror, Old Style Clock, and a whole lot of vintage purses.


That Deep Purple patch is my pride and joy. I almost don't want to sew it on anything because they I won't get to look at it every day.


60's fringe dress costume and Payday (aka the best movie EVER) stills.


My special little kitty on her perch atop my tallest clothing rack.

What's the opposite of money for nothing?

At the ripe old age of 27 my previous refusal to intern has bitten me in the ass. I find myself qualified only to work in a field that I don't give a fuck about-retail management. Why would I want to intern when I was making $34/hr hawking jeans at BNY? Oh, wait, you're gonna get sick of doing that? Really? And then you're going to want to do something else but no one will hire you to do anything but the thing you are sick of doing? Really? What's that sharp sting...is it reality? Regret? Who knows. What I do know is that there are plenty of great jobs out there now...if you want to work for free.

With those more qualified than myself taking paycuts, I'm feeling a little doubtful on my prospects of quality employment. So what do I do? I'm 27 years old, is that too old to start interning? Not necessarily, although a little humility will go a long way I'm sure. Sean's friend Chris offered to try get get me a stage (the culinary equivalent of an internship, you work your ass off for free and pray you get hired at the end of your run) at the extremely high-end restaurant he works at. I have always romaniticized the idea of having a trade, but have no romantic misconceptions about what life in a kitchen is like.

Unfortunately right now I travel far too much to have the possibility of a kitchen job in my life. I'm trying to think of what other sorts of internships I could try out. I could try to be Genesis P-Orridge's archivist or perhaps be a management company lackey. First assistant intern reporting for duty Mr. Wentz. Ugh. Right now my only job prospect seems to be professional blogger, but can you really be professional if you only make about $100/week? Just wondering.

The new face of Armani is...

Metallica!!!