Public Celibacy

Note: I understand how ridiculous it is that I'm actually writing about something in the Post annoying me. Almost everything in the NY Post annoys me, I read it for the crossword puzzle more than anything else. Still, this who celibacy thing really hit a nerve.

I was reading yet another article in the NY Post today about NY women opting for celibacy. First of all, in it's digging for famous representatives of the "new celibacy" it handed us the misinformation that Courtney Love is currently celibate. Love stated on Howard Stern that she didn't have sex for four years while working on the new Hole record, but that she's back on the banging wagon since she finished recording (if you haven't watched the interview and you have access of Howard OnDemand you should, it's captivating as Love generally is when she's somewhat lucid.) So in typical Post fashion it tries to convince us this is a "trend" by smattering in a few famous gals with stories of "regular" New Yorkers. Too bad their regular New Yorkers consist of Julia Allison and a former Miss Teen Alabama.

Honestly, none of this bothered me as much as how tacky I really think going public with your vow of celibacy really is. Religiously motivated virginity is one thing, but a "sex break" is a whole other. It's no one business who you are having sex with so why is it anyone's business who you aren't? There was a time in my life when I wasn't really having sex. I was newly sober and figuring my shit out. I didn't write a book about it, I didn't feel the need to call it a lifestyle change. It was, simply, being responsible and taking care of myself. Sometimes sex is a good thing, sometimes it isn't. It depends on the individual and where she is at. But honestly, if you need to not have sex to be able to record an album, you probably don't have a healthy enough relationship with sex to be having it when that album is done.

Also, in the Post's reference to Gaga's celibacy, it takes her quote out of context. Her stance is pro-relationship and anti-promiscuity. No sex without commitment. That's hardly celibacy. And while I do appreciate the punny headline, "They're Havin' a Celibation" crowing over a ragged photo of Courtney Love, I'm so sick of this shit.

I have no problem with celibacy, your pussy and whatever you want to do with it is your perogative, but this isn't even celibacy. It's just not promiscuity. These women aren't in relationships and I can bet you if they were in committed relationships they would be having sex. If they were saying they were avoiding relationships for the sake of productivity they wouldn't be in a sexy pictorial in the Post.

Furthermore, I think this is bad for women in general. We're once again returning to this notion that we are the gatekeepers to sex. We are the ones who are the decision makers, the naysayers. Aside from Lenny Kravitz, men don't make the news by saying they are off sex. But again, celibacy is far different from just "not putting out." It's great to avoid hyper-sexualizing oneself but come on. There is nothing abnormal about not having promiscuous sex. And really Julia Allison? Is it worth a fucking press release because you decided not to have sex for a month?!?! I mean that's what humans do after a bad breakup, they take either dive in deep or take a breather.

I am having difficulty vocalizing what exactly is bothering me here. I guess it's partially this notion that women can't be productive creative individuals when they are involved with men, sexually or romantically. Instead of casting off the notion of relationships, sexual or not, maybe we should be more focused on casting off the roles we take in these relationships and the relationship we have with not just our sexuality but our partners. If you need to not have sex with people right away in order to find the proper partner, that makes sense, but don't call it celibacy for fuck's sake.

Just so you know

Sorry, been too busy building an empire in Greenpoint to blog. Things are getting nutty but we're so close to being ready to reopen the shop. For those of you not in the know, I've been working my way into a partnership since the summer at Fox and Fawn. As of January, the partnership is a solid "go" as we decided to relocate the store from it's quiet Suffolk Street location in the LES to a much busier block in Greenpoint Brooklyn. We'll be on the same block of Manhattan Ave as Enids, right next to Three Kings Tattoo.

So far I've learned how to install laminate flooring, fallen off a ladder, painted a drop ceiling, hit my fingers with a hammer more than a couple of times, bitten off what's left of my fingernails, gotten reacquainted with driving on the BQE, and had more mini-misadventures than I could possibly recount. Oh and Marissa got food poisoning from Palace Fried Chicken.

My boyfriend Sean is opening a record store in our space and I'm super stoked about it. I think it will add another dimension to our shop and will make it more dude-friendly, although we've been really upping our men's section and it's definitely regaining it's former glory.

All of this is super exciting and incredibly scary at the same time. It's a risk and I know it will pay off but still, I'm finally going to be a full-time small business owner and that's intense. I won't go into the details of the anxieties this holds because I've already learned that it's something that most people can't really relate to, just as I couldn't really relate to my friends who were freelancers stuck hounding former employers for long-overdue paychecks when I had a steady hourly job. But I will say that the anxieties are many but the payoff is well worth it. I mean come on, I'll never have a boss again, just this wonderful thing called a partner. It goes without saying that I could never have done any of this without Marissa, I mean she founded the fucking store five years ago! If any of you get an opportunity like I did to earn your place in a small business through monetary investment or sweat equity or whatever, I strongly suggest you consider it. I never imagined myself owning a business ever throughout the years and years I worked retail because I never could imagine doing it myself, never could imagine coming up with the money or taking a risk and borrowing it. When I got this opportunity I can safely say that it was nothing short of life-changing and we've got so many big ideas for the future of Fox & Fawn and I have no doubt that they are achievable.

A while ago I wrote about participating in my friend Anjali's performance piece at a church for the Vice Blog. In it I mentioned that I learned a valuable lesson many years ago that was essential to say YES to life. If someone offers you an opportunity it's usually because they see some sort of potential in you. Instead of being mired by self-doubt sometimes it's good to trust a friend and just go for it. To say YES where in the past you may have said NO because you didn't think you were good enough, capable enough, you weren't confident enough, bold enough, brave enough.

I took it one step further when Marissa was talking about not wanting to run Fox & Fawn by herself any longer. I decided to ask. I asked her instead of waiting to be asked because sometimes you realize that the asking may never come and you have to make a grab at a possibility. I mean what's the worse that could happen, someone could say NO and you're life would be where it was before. Sure there's always that worry of putting someone in an awkward spot and making them feel obligated to say YES to you even if they don't really want to but if you are a person with an ounce of perceptiveness you know when you are really not wanted and frankly when it comes to the very important stuff (artistic endeavors, businesses and the such) most of my friends are wise-enough to go with their instincts instead of other people's egos.

And thank god I asked because in that instant something that never had really occurred to either of us as an option (she hadn't asked me because she assumed I wasn't interested and I had never expressed interest because I assumed she would have asked if she though I'd be a good match) became a reality and my life is far better because of it thanks in part of my putting it out there and Marissa for believing in me.

Whew! And that's life according to Beverly. Your sermon for the day. Positivity is underrated.

[Flickr] White Castle Likes Your Photo!

Dear White Castle enthusiast,

We saw your stuff online. We dig it. We like it so much, in fact, that we’d like to include your video or picture on WhiteCastle.com.

Before we can post your work, we need your permission. Read the legal stuff below and email us back. As you’ll see, we offer no compensation, we simply provide the stage to showcase your White Castle-inspired genius.

Please reply with a copy and paste of one of these options:

1. Yes, I’ve read and agree to all terms and I allow White Castle to use my photo, "White Castle Party!" on whitecastle.com.

2. No, I do not consent for White Castle to use my content on whitecastle.com.

Thank you for your talent, devotion, and for saying yes. Thank you for recognizing and responding to the crave. If you have any concerns, call Debbie Cline at White Castle, 614-559-2577.

Long live the crave,

Your friends at White Castle


LICENSE, PUBLICITY RELEASE, AND WAIVER OF CLAIMS

In making and agreeing to this License, Publicity Release, and Waiver of Claims (“Agreement”), it is understood and agreed that I rely wholly upon my own judgment, belief and knowledge of my contractual rights and obligations under this Agreement, and that I have not been influenced to any extent whatsoever in making this Agreement by any representations or statements regarding said Agreement, or regarding any other matters, made by the persons, firms or corporations who are hereby released, or by any person or persons representing them.

In consideration of having my textual, photographic, video, or other original content (“Content”) considered for inclusion in White Castle’s web site or other branding efforts, I grant White Castle Management Co. and its subsidiaries, affiliates, legal representatives and assigns (“White Castle”), without further obligation, a perpetual, worldwide, royalty free license to use, alter, reproduce, and publicly or privately display, broadcast, perform, or distribute the Content, in whole or in part, in any commercial or noncommercial manner, and in any media now known or hereafter developed.

I further grant White Castle the absolute right and permission to use my name, image, and likeness as it may be displayed or otherwise included in association with the Content and hereby waive all rights to inspect or approve of any specific use of the Content, waive all related rights of publicity, moral rights, and claims based upon those rights, and release, discharge, and agree to hold harmless and indemnify White Castle from any liability or claims of intellectual property infringement or right of privacy or persona violation or infringement which may arise by virtue of such use of the Content. I warrant and represent that the Content does not infringe the intellectual property rights of any third party and does not contain the name, image, or likeness of any individuals without their knowledge and consent to such use as contemplated herein. I also hereby waive any claims of trademark infringement or false endorsement for use of my name or likeness in connection with use of the Content or any image or work derived therefrom.

I hereby warrant that I am an adult and have every right to contract in my own name in the above regard. I hereby state further that I have read the above Agreement prior to indicating my agreement or disagreement to the terms, and that I am fully familiar with the contents thereof.

This voice could sell me anything

Fred Vanore Gilbert Gottfried Shoedini Blue Moon Studios
Uploaded by BlueMoonStudios1. - Classic TV and last night's shows, online.

God bless you Gilbert, it's like a rainbow in my ears.

Void Vision at Wierd!

I did an interview with these kids that was excerpted on the Vice Blog, check it out!

I also took a bunch of pics from that night, enjoy!

Gee thanks Ebay, now I'm drowning in a repetitive sea of bullshit!

All I wanted to do was sell a fucking vintage Chanel skirt! Thanks for going after the little guy instead of the Hong Kong dicks that actually sell fake goods on Ebay. I'm pissed as all get out.

Also, isn't this the longest most repetitive email you've ever read? It took all my strength not to reply with "Eat a dick."

Dear Beverly,

Thank you for writing eBay in regard to the listing restriction you are
experiencing. I can certainly understand your concerns about having
certain selling restrictions on your eBay account. However, having
reviewed your account thoroughly, I have come to the conclusion that the
restrictions were properly placed and will remain active. Please
understand the restrictions placed on your account are not accusations
of you personally nor do they affect your standing as a valued eBay
customer. The restrictions are proactive means of assisting eBay to
reduce fraud and negative buying experiences on the site. This selling
limit is not a disciplinary action; it is a default account state.
Every seller on eBay has been faced with this restriction at some point
or another as their account has grown. Eventually the seller can request
to have their account reviewed and cleared to sell these items in larger
quantities.

In order to maintain a safe and positive trading environment, all eBay
accounts have standard protective limits that pertain to certain items.
These limits impact the number of certain types of items you may list or
revise in a rolling 30-day period.

Once you have reached your limit, the system will notify you and you
will need to wait a minimum of 30 days before attempting to list or
revise these types of items.

This restriction was not directed specifically to your account and is
not due to any action, listing, violation, feedback, etc., of your own.
It also does not affect your account status in any way; it only affects
your listing ability for certain items. The restriction is part of a
site-wide initiative that we've implemented; all sellers that sell
certain types of items on our site have experienced this restriction at
one time or another.

eBay is committed to reducing fraud and negative buying experiences on
the site; this includes preventing the sale of counterfeits and other
unlawful goods on our platform. The sale of counterfeits on eBay
violates our business ethics, undermines the eBay Community's
confidence, and harms our buyers, legitimate sellers, and eBay.

The placement of these restrictions is just one of the ways that eBay is
attempting to fight counterfeits on the site. These restrictions affect
certain types or categories of goods, such as clothing, shoes, jewelry,
or watches, that eBay understands from rights owners as typically being
targeted by counterfeiters.

Again, this restriction only affects certain types of items, ones that
typically have been targeted by counterfeiters. You should still be able
to list and/or revise other items without experiencing these
restrictions.

Please understand that we're not questioning the authenticity of your
items. Once you have reached your limit, you will not be able to list or
revise any more of these types of items, regardless of the item's
authenticity.

We are not able to be more specific at this time about the precise
application of these restrictions; the restrictions impact a wide
variety of items and the affected items are likely to change over time.
The limits are also variable in nature and will be different depending
on the situation and on the types of items being listed.

These restrictions are a proactive means to reduce fraud and negative
buying experiences on the site; they will help increase buyer trust,
resulting in greater loyalty and purchasing activity for legitimate
sellers. We know that initiatives to combat fraud may cause
inconveniences for legitimate sellers, but these initiatives will also
benefit sellers with an increase in buyer demand for legitimate goods.

We want our sellers to build an established history of selling, both in
general and in these types of items, before we remove these restrictions
from their account. When sellers have sufficiently established a
positive history of selling along with a good history of policy
compliance, they may request to have these restrictions removed.
Basically, we want our sellers to establish a positive selling record on
our site before selling these types of items in larger quantities.

This is a standard protective limit that is on all eBay accounts to
begin with for certain types of items. This restriction limits the
number of certain items that can be listed in a 30 day period. Please
keep in mind that the majority of items permissible on eBay are not
subject to this limit and can be listed without restrictions.

After a careful review of your account and history with us, we have
determined that this restriction will remain on your account.

Criteria used in our investigation include, but are not limited to, the
following factors:
-- Selling history (minimum three months) and activity as a seller on
the site
****-- Selling history for these types of items (Need more selling
history for these types of items)
****-- Positive selling feedback (Need more selling feedback)
-- Any feedback questioning the authenticity of your items
-- No unresolved disputes with buyers
-- Compliance with eBay policies
-- Account in good standing
-- PayPal verified
-- DSR for Item as Described

I put stars in front of the specific criteria that applies to you. Not
only is this part of the initial reason your account was restricted, but
it's what you will need to pay attention to and work on for now to have
these limits raised in the future.

These are just some of the things we look for when making the decision
to remove your limits or not. They don't all apply to you. Some other
things we look for include your violation history as well as any blocks
on your account.

Even though the limits on your account remain active, you can still
build a positive selling history by listing other items. You can
list/relist/revise similar items 30 days after receiving the first
message. You received the block on 12/16/09, so you should be able to
list again on 01/15/10.

I would definitely recommend you sell other items until your limits can
be raised. This will help you build up your selling feedback and will
potentially decrease your chances of getting these blocks on your
account. Once you build up more of an established selling history, you
will not receive those blocks.

I do understand how frustrating it is to have the restriction on your
account. The best thing you can do right now is continue working within
these limits, list the items you can, and continue building a positive
selling history and policy compliance history. I would also suggest
contacting us again after several months have passed to review your
account again. At that point we could potentially raise your limits.

If you have any further questions regarding your selling limits, please
click on the link below for more information.

http://pages.ebay.com/sell/selling-restrictions.html

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Aunika


eBay Customer Support
_____________________________________________

(6757770)



Original Message Follows:
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Form Message: %42223% 061001
D_ID010620101345D_ID/W_ID189147377W_ID/S_ID000S_ID
Subject: IV%X10151 Question About Listing [#US 100770T ?01 ]

User Feedback: 85
User State: ?01


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Topics > Question About Listing

Message: I have a restriction on my account. I believe it is because I
occasionally sell designer items in addition to vintage. There have
been no questions as to the authenticity of any items I sell and I run a
very well respected store-front in New York City. I would very much
like to continue selling on Ebay and this restriction hampers my ability
to do so. My business depends on the ability to sell items online as
well as in my retail storefront.

Please review my restriction as I would like to have it lifted as soon
as possible. I have all positive feedback and don't appreciated being
restricted when having done nothing but follow the rules.

Thank you.

A few things

First off, don't the guys arrested in Pakistan on a terror plot look like a boy band? Ramy Zamzam...I mean what a name!



If only I knew Photoshop a little better I could turn this into serious gold.

Second, Bobby Liebling's wife has a blog called Halcoholic. It's weirdly fascinating to look at candids of him now. Plus his jewelry collection is insane and I sort of want to hate her just for getting that sweet ram's head pendant with ruby eyes...what?!?!?!

Third, I have been back on the flute playing with Skin Drink! I'll keep you guys posted. I missed performing so much and even though I'm just some background support it's gotten me pretty motivated to do more. Between the business, the writing, and potential banding I'm a pretty busy babe, which is good.

Fourth, I joined a fucking gym for the first time in my entire life. I haven't worked out in ages aside from my former life as a regular bike rider. My pants don't fit, something's gotta give and I don't want that something to be a zipper.

Fifth, more embarassing than the gym is that I created a Twitter for the store and now just use it to blab all day long. Follow me if you want, but don't say I didn't warn you: Foxnfawn

Sixth, yeah I know this was a very unsubstantial post. Sorry, I've got a sweater to mend.