Newsflash

Jon Bon Jovi was in the store today. I wonder if I can get a gig tipping off paparazzi. For instance, Vanessa Minello looks like a tranny in real life, matches her shoes to her hat to her bag, and didn't buy a goddamn thing. Alan Cumming got lost trying to get to the men's elevator and ended up in the display offices. Richie Sambora makes his lady friends pay for their own shopping. Oh wait, not a bit of that is even remotely juicy. What else have I learned about celebs while working at Barneys?

Carrie Underwood is scarily tiny
Elizabeth Hurley is freakishly nice looking in person
Reese Witherspoon is the smallest person I've ever seen
Victoria Beckham shops in head to toe Dior with an entourage of fags and actually seems like she's got a decent sense of humor
Drew Barrymore has a full bush and tries on jeans without underwear
Famke Janssen always has her Boston Terrier off the leash just to get attention
Angie Harmon thinks I'm "so cute" and "so chic" which was weird
Tyra Banks wears a size 31 in jeans and always wears last season's sale merch (onscreen and off)
Marielle Hemmingway says "you bet" constantly
Patti Smith has a serious mustache
Billy Crystal's face looks like its made of latex
Kevin Costner is ridiculously nice and far taller than I expected


Apparently the other day (my day off of course) Bruce Springsting was in the store while his wife Patti was shopping. My coworker was helping her and she had no idea who Bruce even was. In fact only one person on the sales floor even noticed him. Same thing happened with Alice Cooper. When he went to pay my coworker Arlettie thought he was using his wife's credit card because of the name Alice. Jesus. And I always miss the good ones. Aside from Billy Connolley who fell asleep in a chair while his daughters were shopping. He looked like the ultimate badass. Seriously.

Also no one knows who Zooey Deschanel, Frances McDormand, and Lily Taylor are, aside from me.