Reality No-Show: Spring Broke

Ahh, back in New York, just in time for the season of beer bongs and hula hooping. The older my friends get, the greater their enthusiasm for beer bongs seems to increase. Beer bongs and spring break. Maybe it's because those of us who did go to college never were the types to spend a weekend in Ybor City or South Padre Island. Cabo Wabo wasn't part of our scholastic venernacular. But the last thing I want to do was revist spring break after being stuck in Tampa on a Friday night during the actual time period known as spring break. It was halfway through the Love as Laughter tour, right before things started to go wrong. The boys were playing at a venue called New World. I was restless after spending the whole day in the van so I asked the promoter which direction was the best to wander. He pointed me around the corner and up the street. Little did I know that I was being directed into the heart of darkness known as Ybor City.

It was a typical party strip, filled with nightclubs and tshirt stores. Head shops next to cigar stores (this was Florida after all) and a token Coyote Ugly. All around me were girls in crop tops and mini skirts with brightly colored legwarmers or wrist bands advertising their school colors. Accompianying them were the class cargo shorts and sandal wearing meatheads. Everyone looked like a case of alcohol poisoning waiting to happen. The locals were dressed in slightly less garish but still horrifyingly miniature ensembles. Walking the strip in black jeans and a tshirt, I got a lot of attention. I guess I stood out. In addition to all the other riff raff, there was a gigantic outdoor mall. After walking around for 30 minutes I felt throughly traumatized and went to take a nap in the van. Desperately I started texting all the friends I knew were from Florida asking them if they had any leads on places to crash for the night. Trying to find a cheap hotel room during spring break is pretty difficult. In fact trying to find an open room cheap or otherwise is basically impossible. Everyone who wrote me back said stay out of Ybor City. I had to laugh as I looked up at a sign visible from the venue parking lot informing me that's exactly where I was.

I was wary upon coming back to Brooklyn when I was greeted with Glen's enthusiastic phone call about a spring break party he was throwing at LuLu's. My urge to stay a shut in for a good week post tour was overcome by my compulsion to be a good friend and I went despite my reservations about the whole spring break concept. It ruled. You know I love to photograph a beer bong. And what's more, I now love me some serious hula-hoop pics. Let's hope that theme stays with us for the summer. Anyone want to make a Target trip and buy some?

Without further adieu, I present to you, Spring Break: Brooklyn Style

DJ Naan Stop aka O.B.G.Y.Glen

The Budweiser shorts make the ladies go straight for the crotch.

"Brad Parsons stole my money"

They made their shirts right before the party.

Audrey was seriously dressed for the occasion

Sean was not (lookin good babe!)

Berkowhatz?

Group shot (featuring the abadoned boyfriends in the background)

The face of mediocre pizza when you've got beer vs the face of mediocre pizza when you don't

The return of the flabongo

Good form!

Hula hoopin head bangin

To everyone's credit, hula hooping is way hard when said hoop has no weight in it.

Still, Annie was a star, in fact I think it was she who got everyone going with the hula hoop in the first place.

I never found out if this was a retro spring break themed outfit (Daytona?) or if this is an everyday look.

Either way it was awesome, silver jangles, bedazzling, all goes so well when paired with a hula hoop.

Dudes just don't look nearly as good, no matter how hard they try.

Beer bong time...unfortunately (or germ/dignitywise maybe fortunately) for me Tommy Gunz left no abandoned unopened non-alcoholic brews sitting around like last time.

Fletcher looks like an add for How to Get Babes 101...the Corona beer poncho.

Here I am having what is apparently the best time ever! Now that's what I call a hula hooping outfit. Thanks Leah.

Coke-a-haunt-us or at least that's what I nicknamed Leah when she had her braids in earlier in the night. Bummer she took them out, she had a good native look going. Even without them, still good look going.