Out of Africa

Angela, Audrey, and I went to an Afro-Carribean street fair in front of BAM on Sunday. It was the first day I was feeling remotely better from my second resurgence of the swine flu. We came expecting to find this guy:


He was pictured in the advert on BAM's website but unforunately the only fabric vendors were pretty unimpressive. Most of the places in Harlem have better selections.

Still we had a grand old time. Drinking out of coconuts and perusing jewelry. I discovered bean pie and bought some sweet leather earrings.


Audrey and I bought matching rings.


Segregation is finally over! Southern lady friend tattoos.


Dude on stilts. No big deal.


I know a few people who belong at the Jerk Center...(Audrey isn't one)


The scene


Jewelry booth, Audrey looked like the cutest power lesbian ever.


Lightswitch covers


Extreme purse


This booth was pumping out the best of tunes.

Audrey took some pictures too:

Modeling the earrings I bought, they matched the extreme purse.


This guy was hawking cakes (I bought a bean pie from his stand) by telling everyone, "My red velvet is chocolate baby." Nice.

How am I? Do you really want to know?

So I survived a nine-day stint with the swine flu. The bus on the way to pharmacy was traumatic. School kids making fun of me, so taxed I wanted to punch one of them in the face. An especially fat one bragging about how he would go into the city and cough on people to make them think they were being infected. I survived the bus ride temper intact and got a bottle of Codeine cough syrup for my troubles.

When children are tormenting you it sucks because you are essentially powerless. What are you going to do? Fight an 11 year-old? No, you just have to take it. Because if you start a fight with a child you'll always lose. Sean told me a story about his friend who was being tormented by some kid on her block. She fought back and punched him in the face. When he instantly started crying she realized that this teen must be much younger than he looked. Instead of the seventeen year-old she'd guessed him to be turns out he was thirteen. His mother started freaking out at her and she had to avoid the second half of her block for fear of an angry mama out to kick her ass.

The only way to win a fight with a kid is to go directly to the mother which I used to do when I was 18 and living on my own for the very first time. I lived on an especially dicey block in Columbia, MO. These little kids would bug the shit out me, asking me if I was in porn, asking me if I was a slut and fucking my male roommate, asking me if I was a witch (I had dyed black hair and my roommate was goth) and all sorts of shit. I appealed to their mother and together we'd fuck with her son, I'd threaten to tell on him and she'd yell out "are you bothering our nice neighbor again?" and psyche him out. Eventually the porn inquiries stopped which is nice because having a ten year old ask you if your pussy is in any magazine is pretty goddamn disturbing.

But sometimes you have no power as to whether you win or lose. When you are riding your bike on Hewes Street in pink hot pants in the dead of summer and four kids start pelting you with vegetable matter it's hard not to talk some shit. But unfortunately calling the kids little assholes increases their wrath and suddenly, fuck you get hit in the ribs with what seems to be a peeled potato. One vicious bruise later I learned that giving up and running away is pretty much the only option. Kids are fucking scary.

Porked

I got the swine flu.

No seriously I did and it sucked. I told Vice all about it instead of you. Oops. Sorry bros.

Tangled up in Court

On Friday I went to see Louise Sturge's opening at lovely Lisa and Nicole's lovely Court. I wrote a little number about it/her for the Vice Blog and boy, people sure didn't like it. I guess being stoked about things isn't what the readership wants. After all, I am participating in a publication that, for a long time, fostered a mentality of celebration by negation. But come on, sometimes it's a-okay to be just plain stoked about someone and some of the things that someone is doing and want to share it. I have two options as a blogger of life as I live it, to bitch or to applaud. I do a whole lot of the former and that seems to be quite popular (ahem...Orin...) but every once in the while I like to engage in the latter.

I'm actually pretty lucky, these were the first mean comments I got on their blog. And after the Alaska fiasco I can happily say they aren't the worst by any means.

ANYWAY, I went to Louise's opening. I had fun. Her photos are beautiful. She is rad. And I didn't get ANY pictures of her all night...what the hell?


Hottest hostess


I tried to take a picture of Brendan's puppy but he started licking his crotch. Like father, like son.


Bros...you know, just chillin in Nolita...


Doesn't it look like someone just said something really awkward?


Custom Besos Y Fotos candy...the stuff of dreams (and blue tongues)


See...blue tongue lady!


Remington Steele!


Yeah dude...


Aww...I just wanna post pictures of the two cutest things of the evening!


Glen testing out the chick magnet


Sorta.

Okay so I guess these photos are more of small handful of people hanging out in front of the opening than of the actual opening itself. Oops! I can't resist when there is a puppy (or a Lisa or an Audrey or my baby) around.

For a way better pictorial summation of the event go HERE

Ummm

Oh yeah, I have a blog don't I?

So what's been going on with me?


I witnessed a homosexual gang rape in the Calvin Klein window.


I saw the happiest van in Williamsburg.


I posed pretty much naked in a shoot with Angela Boatwright. The pictures with be made very public very soon. But don't worry, no beaver shots. However, I did find these hilarious heart-shaped aviators while on set.


I ate a lot of Nebraskan food with Glen.


I met the cutest puppy ever, Remy, at the Tangled Up in Blue opening.

I'll write for real posts about the last three things very soon. I caught a very brutal flu this week and have been laid out. Gotta keep up my strength for the Cult of Youth show tonight at Wierd!!!

Someone buy these please

Because they won't fit me:




Only $24.99

You've got 28 hours left.

Sometimes I like it easier

Nikki Lane and Pete Molinari played country tunes at K&M. I DJed after. I like country music a whole bunch but only have about 30 minutes worth of DJ-able tunes on my Ipod. Thankfully the crowd didn't leave when I switched to Judas Priest. Note to self: Dead Moon is the best band to bridge country and psychedelic metal.


Back-up babes


Pete Molinari




Nikki


Nikki and Joe. I love this picture.








After telling us every song other song wasn't about Joe, Nikki and Joe played some tunes together. Inspiration in it's own way.

I took video of Pete's and Nikki's sets. Unfortunately the vids of Pete didn't make the transfer from camera to hard drive and got erased. I'll upload some snippets of Miss Lane's performance later. In the meanwhile you can listen to her tunes on her MySpace and Pete's here