Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Endless Staycation

So it happened. Like countless friends before me, I have joined the ranks of the unemployed. Initially I thought I'd get a lot more blogging action done, but presently I've spent my time sleeping and being bought meals by my friends and now am suffering from a moderate case of food poisoning. Swell. Still, joyously, I have only managed to spend $6 total over the past three days, that counts for something, right? Okay, my $2/day accomplishment involved someone buying me brunch, cooking me dinner, and feeding me pizza plus having a small (and dwindling) aresenal of groceries pre-job loss. And it doesn't count laundry but I seriously scrounged up all those quarters off my floor...change isn't real money, right?

I am extremely daunted by rejoining the workforce in yet another full time job that takes all my time and sucks all of my energy for the good of someone else's cause. I know, recession, blah blah blah, literally and figuratively, I can't really afford to be picky. Unemployement (which fingers crossed I qualify for) according to a friend, is one of the best writer's grants one can receive. Unfortunately, even if I do qualify I won't be able to receive it for long, as once someone has entered in a business contract (which I will be soon) they are not eligible for unemployment even if that contract isn't making them a dime (which it won't for at least another month.)

I've watched several unemployed friends of mine float along in an almost zenlike state after the first few crushing months. They learn to live on their meager budgets, eating less, drinking less, spending their hours in parks or at the gym. They adopt a monk-like...or perhaps more accurately Los Angelean existence (just without the frapps or the hybrids.) I personally have been gainfully employed continuously for about the past six years. I've never quit a job without having another one lined up. I've never been let go (until now.) Several times I've worked multiple jobs, the most notable being January where I was starting two new jobs and still working through my two weeks notice on the old one.

It has never been in doubt that I am a dedicated hard worker, but it's hard not to feel like a failure and it's even harder to reconcile those feelings. This is my first real firing so perhaps I'm just sensitive to it. My emotions are more frustrated and annoyed than geniunely upset at this point and like always, I am trying to spin it into an advantage. Perhaps hit the road again, perhaps use this time to work on a few short stories to submit to graduate writing programs, perhaps to build the blog, perhaps perhaps's only been a few days. And I've got rent for October.

But after that...who knows...unless someone wants to take me on tour. Designated driver, professional dude wrangler, and accomplished merch babe, who wouldn't want me to tour manage...

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