Wolves in the Groan Room

I got this message the other day when I passed on some info about potentially interviewing Wolves in the Throne room to my friend Mary. If you don't know Mary aka Lady of the Palindrome, you should. She's one of the few people who still lives and breathes DIY. She teaches and zine workshop and used to helm Sunset Park's premiere punk house. Battletorn played in that basment. No one was there, but who cares! There was serious fury!



Check out the awesomeness of the The Palindrome, DIY Works, and Binge and Purge to see how real Mary's keeping it in Poughkeepsie.



Mary's in the front, fists in the air, mane a flyin'. That's her usual stance.

Some advice before you cross her path. Do not lend this woman your wizard staff after she'd had a few Sparks. Bad things will happen.

Anyway, here is the geninus response she wrote me:

"hey bev! thanks. its really funny timing, actually! i was just talking about wolves in the throne room.

you'll get a kick out of this actually. I was complaining about wolves in the throne room and how they've spawned all of these godawful indie-dude-turned blackmetal kids. you know exactly who i mean!! super clean cut with glasses and burzum shirts?!? anyway, there are a lot of them at vassar now, which is so ludicrous to me, because when i was a student there nobody listened to fucking anything metal.

anyway, i sort of had a run in with a group of these dudes. i was subbing at WVKR, vassar's radio staiton, and the kid who came in to dj the slot after me was one of said blackmetal hipsters. he and his friends were wearing their big gun street cred shirts - burzum, wiitr, death, emperor. they totally werent metal dudes, though... no bro factor at all, just shitty adolescent snotrags in cool tshirts.they started going through my records and pulling that amateur scenester bullshit, you know... "yeah, that bands ok but their older shit was better." just trying to one up each other and be dumb and pretentious about it.


one of them pulled out a big black record from the crate i brought and was all "oooo, derek, look its your favorite band." the one named derek was like, all serious, "shut up you know i hate that band." which pissed me off, because you KNOW he's only saying that so he can achive the status of the one who disdains the hipster icon instead of worshipping it, and i was getting fed up with him, so i was like, "what the fuck, dude, its not like you're only into metal, you're playing hella for fucks sake, how come you dont like big black?"

and he started doing, in this snivelly little voice, "ooo im steve albini and i only put one mic in the room at a time, ooo i think im so great." and i lost it! i was like DUDE, YOU'RE WEARING A BURZUM SHIRT, YOU CANT POSSIBLY BE ALL THAT CONCERNED WITH RECORDING SOUND QUALITY!!!

he's in a shitty psuedoblackmetal band called stormking. they list among their references wolves in the throne room. dude, what the fuck?"

Maybe no one but me and Mary will think that story is funny, but who cares. You just wish you could be a nerd on our level.

Here are some pictures of Mary trying on size 60" waist mens pants at a thrift store in Colorado Springs. Just because...

Muxtape...defined

Earlier I posted that I made a new Muxtape. I really like what ML did over at The History of My Future explaining the songs on her autobiographical mix.

I didn't put nearly as much thought into mine. It was a dead-brained fevered sick mix, half heavy, all heady. Still, nerd that I am, I am excited about telling everyone about the origins of my nerding so here goes (unfortunately I am not so well coordinated as ML to have video linkage to songs like she does.)


1. Aguaturbia - Eres Tu. Weirdly discovered this band going through a series of MySpace links. Occasionally I'll start going through MySpace finding pages for old psych and prog bands I am a fan of. Those profiles, usually created by the record labels who reissue their albums or by die-hard fans, are usually linked with equally obscure and equally rocking bands and they can take you on an odyssey. I first heard Aguaturbia (a few others on this list) this way. Unintentionally goofy Chilean erotic psych? Why the hell not?


2. Dust - Suicide. Marky Ramone's old band, one of the great NY power trios, and a total scorcher. I'll always associate this band with my good friend Jake who is the biggest Dust fan I know. It makes me miss him a bunch. I listened to this album every time I went to the beach last summer, dozing off on the sands of Brighton Beach listening to this album, Hard Attack, from 1972. I always giggle when I get the mental image of the dude standing in the rain with his electric guitar.


3. Jerusalem - Kamikaze Moth. This is the bonus track of the reissue Jerusalem album. I spent weeks in vain trying to find this song because I kept spelling it "kamikazee moth". True fucking story. It's the best song on the album and not available on a lot of the editions. Super heavy, especially when considering the 1972 release date.


4. Sand - May Rain. Off the Ultrasonic Seraphim reissue. Most of the tracks on this album are too long to put on the Muxtape site and I don't expect anyone to sit through a fifteen minute long sound excursion, though they really should, static and intense electronic fuzz prog that brought me to near insanity when I was stranded at the gateway of the mohave desert for three days last summer. Another accidentally found band that totally rules my universe, from 1974.


5. Cirith Ungol - Better Off Dead. One of my all time favorite metal bands. Raw primitive grooves. Screechy vocals and total stalker beats. Frost and Fire, and the demo album are both essentials on my Ipod, I snuck this in off the 1979 demo release not the proper album so I could keep it in the decade.


6. Icecross - Jesus Freaks. 1973 Iceland prog metal band making fun of Jesus fans. Umm...it's how you say...irresistable!


7. High Tide - Rock Me On Your Wave. Live in studio jam from 1970 UK prog/art rock geniuses. Their catalogue is shockingly brutal given the time frame with violins and spooky soundscapes. A progressive band that actually sounds ahead of their time 38 years later.


8. Forest - Bluebell Dance. Pretty creepy 1970 tune from UK pagan-pop folk act. It's a solid album, only occasionally smirkable.


9. Gila - Sundance Chant. 1973 German progsters channeling the plight of the Native American? Sign me up. I'm a sucker.


10. Granicus - Bad Talk. Further proof that A. Cleveland rocked and B. 1973 was a good year for music.


11. Hand of Doom - There Ain't No Running Away. I always will be a sucker for a band that says their name over and over in their songs. German roots of metal from the awesomely named Poisonoise album. 1979, still barely in the decade. First heard this song on the LSD Connection Vol 8: Mushroom Metal comp which I highly reccomend. It's like my spirit album. Seriously.


12.Trees - The Garden of Jane Delawney. Discovered this gem along with the Forest track (yeah...I know...) on one of the Lamas Night Laments comps my old boss Adrian burned for me. Equally as beautiful and equally as eerie, these are two of my top favs in UK 70s folk. The lyrics are especially goth. 1970, same year as the Forest track.

Check it out, scrolling lyrics. High-tech! No idea how this song ended up on one of those weird lyric sites.


- Trees Lyrics

NBD

So, what did you do at work today?

Oh, I just made a sign with a smoking Elf-lady. NBD.

Wow, check out those Photoshop skills, free transform, cut, paste, rotate, crop...I'm a regular dynamo.

I CAN'T EAT!

Do you have any idea what it does to a girl? Especially this girl?


Seriously, this is totally unacceptable. I ate a banana and it fucked me up, a BANANA!

That's the "B" in the BRAT diet. I'd hate to see what some crazy ass applesauce would do to me.

Well if nothing else that explains the blog today. I'm halfway derranged with hunger after two and a half days of nothing but seltzer.

And I'm bored as hell. Being home sick sucks. I watched all my Netflix and can't eat junkfood. I am damning myself for being so gung-ho about cancelling our cable. Now I can't even torture myself but watching hot-ass (aka hot asshole) Spike on Top Chef, what's the point of living?

Only 85 More days...

This year I am saving up so I can buy (all wares actually sold at NY Ren Faire!)...

Skeleton hand pewter goblet:


Handmade booties perhaps?




Battleaxe:


Chainmail headband (convertible into necklace)


Chainmail belt (perfect for over those floorlength velvet LARP gowns)


And the essential "chainmail pouch/dice bag." Finally an in-character place to stash those pesky 12-sided die!


Or perhaps a custom Tracker jacket:


Or check out the details on this bitchin' ranger


Let's also stop by the booth of the legendary leathersmith Miles Tonne:


Perhaps a fully metal poncho?


Or this dreamy vest:


Channel your inner cavewoman for only $450!


And what lady doesn't want front-laced suede shorts?


On a related note, where do I meet these dudes?





Also, my Red Sonja fantasy can finally be lived!


Anyone looking to buy me presents please consult the above or go here:
http://www.theneongargoyle.com/jewelry/index.html

Goddamnit, the performer auditions were last week! I really missed the boat.

Quandry of the century

Conversation with my roommate:

"I feel like I'll get a bigger laugh if I cut the plastic on this package of chicken onstage and then pour out the blood into the cauldron rather than just bringing the blood out in a vial, but then if I cut it onstage I'll be wasting the chicken and I have a moral problem with wasting food."

I advised her to bring the chicken in a cooler and do everything in her power to save it because the laugh was too important to sacrifice and this way if the chicken was ruined at least she'd know she'd tried.

Yes, I am that helpful. And yes, my roommate is an actress.

My biggest quandry today was whether or not to eat noodle soup or just stick with a banana. I opted to try the noodle soup. Ahh my life, where digestion is a crapshoot.

Edit: Trying the noodle soup was a big mistake. On the bright side I lost 5 pounds...eh...

I made you a present

This one really wins