Saturday, February 16, 2008


Ice-T is 50 years old today.

Wow. 20-somethings, I want you to imagine for a moment that this man was your father. And that, Coco (who is "28"...ahahahaha!) was your stepmother...

I was invited through my roommate at the time's boyfriend's friend to the Stuff Magazine Halloween party in 2002 or 2003. I was dressed as a ghost mod and had to endure being humped by a guy in a gumby costume on the dance floor. But it was all worth it when the one celebrity showed up. Ice-T dressed as a vampire-pimp (well really, every costume he's probably ever had is fill-in-the-blank hyphen pimp.) Coco was with him of course and I couldn't tell what she was dressed up as, a slutty maid perhaps (again, every costume she's probably ever had is slutty space fill-in-the-blank.) She started chatting with me as she stood behind me in the bathroom line and I didn't know how to respond. I just kept staring at her tits, her man-face, and then when she turned around to wave at someone, that ass. It was seriously the craziest ass on a white girl I have ever seen. Hands down, bar none.

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