Beer Bongin' Vietnam

P O R K !

Things start off so pretty...



And devolve so beautifully...



"Fuck Iraq, let's go back to Vietnam and have some real fun."

Memorial Day weekend was crowned by Rich's BBQ aka the ultimate sausage party aka Bro Council formation anniversary. When I walked out onto that patio there were about 40 dudes and 4 chicks. I like them odds...even though they did even out over time.

Much pork was eaten, cake thrown, and beer swilled. The beer bong in question is dubbed "Swilly Nelson" although we did like the lady equivalent Swillary Clinton or even Barak OBonga (we really extended ourselves this time.) I gotta say, I'll always love a good bro. In a world full of Teva-wearing, monster-truck-driving, cargo-shorts-owning Chad a closet jock (although never that good at sports) who listens to thrash metal, calls me "babe", and is a proud practioner of the grill and swill is like a godsend. After my former incarnation as Empress Brosephine den mother of the illustrious fraternity known as Team Fun I became quite comfortable as the lady amongst bros, but as the Bro Council teaches us, there is no real ladybro. Because bro-dom is a celebration of dudeness to an extreme chest bumping degree, no matter how down a girl is, her presence debilitates a bro-down, just a tiny bit. No matter how crass dudes seem, they are always holding back, just a little bit, when feminine ears are present. And thank god. Because I am already traumatized enough. Chicks may think they want to know what goes on in a dude's brain, but trust me, you don't. You'll end up like me and never date again.

But...would I really have it any other way?

Good form...


Post-bong stoicism


Are you man enough?


First lady bong of the day


Wendy's first beer bong (at this juncture Paul yelled, "Pretend it's a horse!" fully classed out)


Lex was by far the champion of the lady bong...she went so fast I only could get a satisfied "after" pic.


Which is far more graceful than her boyfriend Chris's after pic.


And then...someone found an extra of Tommy Gunn's non-alcoholic beers. Many jokes were made about how someone should bong one...I was inspired to be that someone. When I quit drinking I vowed to be able to do everything I used to have to be drunk to do. This was pretty ultimate.





Group shots (with offending babes)




More lady bong




And right around the camera died things really got weird: